Tears of My Sorrow

Haunted by the past.... forever trapped by it

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:14:13 GMT

Mistake after a mistake.... when will it end?

A wheel that I am trapped of. feeling emo? nah. this is the feeling of regret.

Ok. I thought everything is ok. I moved on I said. It has been 4 years since then. Then why am I still affected? It is as though I just woke up from a blurry dream.

You said. I said. I smiled. I laughed. I congratulated.

I. Am. Happy.

Lies.

That face, those words, those memories. It cut my flesh but no blood gushes out.

I hate this. Go away... just go away... Pls. just let me smile a true smile. Let me stop pretending. It's been years since then. Dont go all and ruin my efforts.

Jah.

I am -so- tempted to read my new books.... no pain no gain..

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:07:21 GMT

ok ok... im not suppose to be doing this as I have an exam and report tomorrow *spanks herself*.

My head is throbbing right now and I unfortunately got sick again. Now this is my punishment. My horrible colds seemed to have erased the things that I have memorized yesterday but still fortunately enough remembered the things I have read for ELECLIT tommorow -or later- ( a good murder fiction is not something you forget easily ).

I remembered this past weekend which has given me enough perks (not counting yesterday when my tooth almost killed me). Idunno we just had this dinner w/ my dad's highschool friend, and well on the way to saisaki... I decided to go to fully booked and there I saw the book that I have been searching for a month now. "Confessions of a Shopaholic" glistens on one of its shelf. It is the only copy left and yet the stupid me forgot her wallet -.-. Luckily I brought my accessory with me. My brother ha!. Well at least his in the good mood to lend me some money >3

Anyways dinner went by and I got to talk to my dad's friend's son. I was oggling at his newly bought Canon DSLR when suddenly he mentions the famous book that some of you are well familiar off. "Twilight".

Twilight had intrigued me for quite sometime. It had created a stirr in my different classes. I had known the book way before and the plot does not seem to spark my interest at first.

A book about vampires.

Well Im not really into vampire stories for it may seem very predictable. it always has the formula of Vampire + Romance = Forbidden Love. Typical very typical... and having a all so perfectly looking creature that can allure anything at its path is not my way of excitement.

Yet curiosity got better than me (hypocrite). As we finished our dinner, i lured my mom too just to show her the book. I dont really have any intention of buying it but well my dad suddenly made a very rare very very rare feat.

He took the book and bought it without any questions. Well im not complaining ahaha

and there its is these two books beside me now tempting me to read it...

i need to restrain....

well...

...a peek wont hurt ;3

For you... Happy Anniversary ^^

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:30:14 GMT

"...i give you my heart, you gave me your all"
</p>

time had tested the waves. its has been a very hard journey.

We stumbled.

We cried.

Tears looming separation from time to time. Yet, the chain that binds us still remain.

No rust. No breakage.

Sunrise.

Sunset.

A never ending cycle.

We held each other around each other's arms behind the shadows of the guardians.

We're like in one of those chinese stories. A story of the stars. Who can only see each other once on a bridge under a starlit blanket skies.

Acceptance.

The once shadow loomed heaven is now clear. Yet, we are not entirely free.

You had proven to me yourself countless of times.

You said you'd change. You change into someone that I never thought that you could be

You said you'd be my strenght. You always held me even if I dont ask you too.

You said you'd never made me cry. You always seemed to be the one more hurt when I do.

I never forced you but still you've done this to heal all those wounds.

What do I deserve to get this from you?

Did I do enough to make up all of those year?

Yet, I may not be able to give you my all as you have given to me.

Remember those whispers and this promise....

"....that I will always give you my heart. and I LOVE YOU"

Happy Anniversay =)

stolen this one from dani's blog XD

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 04:26:02 GMT

still at school right now preparing for our presentation in theoryc. Well as I still have some time to spare I got this one from Dani's blog lolz another random survey I guess.

>3

40 little Secrets
Be honest no matter what.

Stolen from Angelica :))

[ONE] Who were your latest 3 inbox texts from?
Lex, Smart, Lex

[TWO] Where was your primary pic taken?
our car

[THREE] What's your middle name?
Santos

[FOUR] Your current relationship
status?
taken =)

[FIVE] Does your crush like you back?
er er er -crickets background-

[SIX] What is your current mood?
bored

[SEVEN] What's your mom's name?
Vickie

[EIGHT] What color shirt are you
wearing?
Black

[NINE] Would you kiss the last person
you kissed?
op course ;P

[TEN] If you could go back in time and
change something, would you?
height! ahaha milk power!

[ELEVEN] Have a crazy side?
I do especially when I havent got any sleep

[TWELVE] Ever had a near death
experience?
yup.. got hit by a van

[THIRTEEN] What is something you do a
lot?
net, net, net

[FOURTEEN] Angry at anyone?
nope...

[FIFTEEN] Do you wanna see somebody
right Now?
I do... but I wish I wont (ironic isn't it?)

[SIXTEEN] Do you like drama?
nope... to much of it happening already

[SEVENTEEN] When was the last time you
cried?
sunday

[EIGHTEEN] Who would you do anything
for?
friends and my belief

[NINETEEN] Who is your hero?
I dont have one o_o;

[TWENTY] What is the one thing you
notice first with the opposite sex?
smile

[TWENTY-TWO] What's your biggest
secret?
er >_<

[TWENTY-THREE] Where is your ex?
where nga ba?

[TWENTY-FOUR] Would you ever take him/
her back?
where where?

[TWENTY-FIVE] Do you still watch kiddy
movies or tv shows?
yea its my drug ahaha

[TWENTY-SIX] What are you eating or
drinking at the moment?
water

[TWENTY-SEVEN] Do you speak any other
languages?
yea

[TWENTY-EIGHT] Whats your favorite
smell?
fresh picked flowers

[TWENTY-NINE] Describe your life.
emo lolz

[THIRTY] Have you ever kissed in the
rain?
i think i did?

[THIRTY-ONE] Do you like the rain?
yep it creates wonderful photos =)

[THIRTY-TWO] What are you thinking
about right now?
going home

[THIRTY-THREE] What should you be
doing right now?
finishing my song

[THIRTY-FOUR] What is your favorite
memory?
any memory that i cant remember =)

[THIRTY-FIVE] What are you listening
to?
I kissed a girl o.o;

[THIRTY-SIX] Who was the last person
you told I love you ?
my bf lolz

[THIRTY-EIGHT] Do you act differently
around the person you like?
on the outside it seemed like im acting normal... but in reality im nervous lol

[THIRTY-NINE] What is your natural
hair color?
light brown

[FORTY] Who was the last person to
make you smile?
gelie =)

too tired to edit... >_

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:44:01 GMT

anyways I just got home from who knows where... and my tooth is killing me. I randomly selected a layout and I'm still trying to figure out on how to work out with the codes here. I wanted to make my own personal layout but this will have to do for now. At least something new after a year of not updating. I'll do something about this tomorrow. Hope my time squeezed in.

Fingers crossed.

>3

crappy boring life

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:45:01 GMT

Misedukasyon... pls read

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 00:52:46 GMT

In one of our Filipino classes we were asked to post and react about the video that we had watched. The title of the documentary film is “Misedukasyon” (in Filipino terms) or “Mis-education”; it talks about the issues in the educational system here in the Philippines and its major conflicts.

As you know Philippines is one of the third world countries. It comprises of the rich and the poor alike. One of our problems here is poverty. Majority of our citizens here are experiencing it and most of them are children. Because of poverty, only a few of these children are able to go to school, a handful of them go to high school and only about 2% of them could be able or afford to go to college. The inability of those parents to send there children off to school are one of the factors why the number of students is dropping in a fast rate. There parents would rather send them off to work and earn money instead of earning education. There are only a few of them are able to finish their complete education. But… the dilemma doesn’t stop here.

Yes, some of us are able to finish our whole education and yet only a few number of these graduate students are able to get a decent job and a job really fitted on their taken courses. It is all because of the limited slot of vacancy that they have. Every year there are hundreds of graduate applicants who are striving to get a decent job and yet only 30% of them are able to get hired. Some given up on taking the same path that should have in relation with their courses. For example, Communication students end up being bankers, Engineers end up being Nurses, Computer programmers end up working in call centers and a lot of other examples that I could not even count anymore.

Here in our country we have what we call the Elite Schools. It comprises of the top four Universities here in our country namely The University of the Philippines, Ateneo de Manila University, De LaSalle University and the University of Santo Thomas (Like in the US it is the counter part of Harvard, Stanford, MIT and the like). Students who are not graduates of these schools always end up not getting hired. Why? Most of the companies that are looking for employees always prefer applicants who are graduates of these elite schools. They always put them in their top priority (not minding if they had shifted courses for hundreds of times… quite exaggerated but yeah…). Even though you have a master’s degree or an honor student as long as you are not in this elite school they would still have second thoughts in your application. This is the other factor why most of our graduates still don’t have jobs as of now.

It depends on how you would react on this but still you can see the problems that we are having right now. I hope our government would be able to see and do something about this situation and help my fellow students and senior graduates to have a steady and bright future. To those who had read this I thank you and you are open to comment about this.

after the storm...

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 03:57:18 GMT

glad everything is ok now... ugh my eyes hurt from the damn crying and my head hurts too. Now i want some icecream and donuts x.x I studying this site's codes cuz I'm really used to a new environment plus adding up I'm darn lazy. Like I did in livejournal... I was far from finishing it but anyways x.x I need to keep pushing or else I'll also screw this one...

broken glass

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 19:49:21 GMT

i have a crappy early morning.... me and my boyfriend had fought... idunno if this time its going to be ok.... anyways its time for me to get some slack and push my butt to my bed

Of rain and snow on a summer night....

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 16:16:00 GMT

I know it has been a very long time since i have updated... and well i'm still the same old lazy bum that can't even finish her layout... anyways... many things have happend and I cant believe it been already a 1 year and a half... well now which is very funny i already have a boyfriend and that guy came very unexpectedly... (he wasnt the same guy I talked about in my last entries but.. one thing they have in common is that they almost look alike anyways..) we were friends at first... and become the closest of friends when we were in our senior year... cant you believe it? Im already graduated from highschool on my way to college and addition to that I have a very sweet boyfriend... but well our relationship went not as smooth as we have hoped it would be.. our favorite routine is to have a day long arguements... that sometimes it almost ruined our relationship... (we almost broke up a couple of times already)... luckly we always sort things out.. and both wanted to change for the better..

Right now im feeling kinda depressed.. for a day my boyfriend made me wait for him for a bout a day.. not a single message from him.. i understand that he doesnt have enough load or.. that he has something to do but what hurt me that he didnt even made any gesture to contact me just to make sure he was ok.. but after i called later at night that is the only time he tried contacting me.. well you may think that this is just a shallow problem but... for us it isnt for us every single communication is important because the moment when we reach college we wont have that much time for each other.. this time we have to get serious and start off with our priorities... and well communication and time for each other will not be the same as before... and well our schools is very far from each other so it is impossible for us to visit each other every day... for month it would be a miracle if we would be able to see each other... anyways im being pathetic as i have always been.. today... we dont even have the chance to talk to each other... i just told him his fault then he apologizes then after i forgave him... and everything went ok.. he suddenly said.. let's go it late let us sleep.. and that's it.. the nerve of him.. anyways i just wanted to let go of my depression before he notices it x.x

another boring day...

Thu, 05 May 2005 16:07:00 GMT

Well just like any other day i just sit around the house doing nothing =/ staring at the t.v. holding my ps2 controller and watch aimlessly at what I'm playing... same old boring crap. But well I'm not really excited either at the upcoming school year. Coming to school this year would mean another set of problems, pressures and well loads of homework and to add up to it here comes the college applications and the darn entrance exams. Entering a University is not something I could not take easy.. and that is what I'm dreading cuz I'm not the studious type of girl. Well even though I'm on vacation I still need to go back at school once a week or sometimes twice to attend this practice of some sorts for our school's anniversary dance production. And to tell you all I'm not a dancer actually I suck at it. I just entered because of the merits that I'm gonna receive even though I wanted the singer parts I cant cuz it is all taken cuz I wasnt been able to attend the damn auditions. Anyways it seems that I'm getting tired of attending those hard tiring practices especially when the that darn main choreographer is there. And well unfortunately for me I have to attend the practice tomorrow and go home again aching all over. *sighs* And well tomorrow is also the Animax Convention and darn I'm gonna miss another convention again after a long time.. Anyways this is my post for now... and still trying to figure out my new layout (sorry im really slow at this kind of things ~_~;;;)

dying out of boredom

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 16:10:12 GMT

nothing really interesting about me right now ~_~ being stuck at home without anything to do is not something I would call interesting or even -productive- for that matter... anyways here's a trivia that I got from deviant lol from Hatworks..

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Chrissie
2. C-chan ~my friend stephy calls me that XD~
3. Asi ~my other friend calls me by this name when we were like 3 years old~

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Kotori
2. Eldrid
3. Ravingfire

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I can sing
2. I hate snobs and preps
3. umm....my eyes? err..

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my skin... to sensitive ~_~
2. dont have self confidence
3. by being me? ~_~:;;

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. CLOWNS!!!! EVIL!!! >_>
2. RATS!
3. um... picture of myself!

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. diskman!
2. watch!
3. clothes~ dont like to walk around naked wont we?

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. shorts
2. my freshman intrams t-shirt
3. earring

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS

1. Greenday
2. Evanescence
3. Hoobastank
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:

1. Broken Sonnet~Hale
2. Same Ground~Kitchi Nidal
3. Missing~Evanescence

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:

1. complete at least 1 website ~_~
2. Flash Animation~
3. Rock Climbing~~!!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):

1. Loyalty
2. Trust
3. Understanding
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

1. I'm a girl
2. I'm white
3. I'm tall o.O;;

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. EYES!!
2. SMILE!!!
3. EYES!!!!!!

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:

1. act like a preppy girl >.>
2. Act
3. draw proper hands and breast >_>;;;;;;;;;

THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO:
1. Draw
2. Sing
3. play the piano, and guitar

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Drawing
2. Reading books (not the educational ones ~_~)
3. playing the ps2 and pc games

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. Talk to him... -.-
2. sleep -0-
3. eat icecream

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:

1. Lawyer
2. Director
3. Video game programmer
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. France
2. Boracay Beach
3. London!

THREE KID'S NAMES:

1. Christabelle
2. Aaron
3. Crystal *-*

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. to have my own anime magazine company
2. to have a family of my own? <.< (if there would be any guy too blind to marry me)
3. have a house of my own a BIG one lol

Rainy Days...

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 13:42:28 GMT

This past few days seemed to be very gloomy for me... Summer has arrived but it seems that rain is still pouring over me. I looked for shelter but still there is nothing. Nothing but darkness..nothing but depression. Maybe someday I'll see my summer sky and find my shelter together with the arms of someone...

Happiest Nightmare
written by: Eldrid a.k.a Kotori
composed by: Anonymous =P

Darkness befall upon me...
As I slept to a neverending slumber...
Wake up the creatures...
Lying Inside me...
As I try to reach out for the dawn...

You are my happiest nightmare...
Englufing me with radiance...
As I'm trapped in this cage of darkness...
Giving me will to stay in this eternal hell...

Silloutte faces looming like shadows...
Haunting me like ghosts...
And now as I'm trapped into the abyss
trying to search for the light...

You are my happiest nightmare...
Englufing me with radiance...
As I'm trapped in this cage of darkness...
Giving me will to stay in this eternal hell...

Save me from this walls of temptations!
Help me and bring me back to the light...

OH NO!!!!

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 15:07:37 GMT

Man How I dread the day tomorrow... giving out of report crads damn I hope I did well even though I know I didnt ~_~ I just need to face my parent's wrath lol ~_~

Just another typical day..

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 15:43:28 GMT

I think my insomia is taking over me again. Anyways this always happen every summer and I've gotten used to it.

Anyways Im doing another random thing out of boredom ~_~ darn some sleep -0-

The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creative
wonder. Always calm and collected, you hold the
awe of many people and you are exceptionally
logical. You are an inspirational beauty.

Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

OMG its summer time already!

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 16:14:31 GMT

wow...I'm really a lazy bum.. its been awhile since I have updated but I've been busy with school and I thank God it's all over. Many things have happened this past year and the few months after the previous year. Some were great but most of the events turned really bad. But well I dont want to recall such memories that aren't really meant to be remembered eventhought the wound that it had created is steal healing from the pain that it has given.

Now I am just glad that everything is over and I have 2 months to relax and forget about the things and problems that I would again face this next school year. Tears have fallen, many have been hurt and gone tired but now I am happy that even for a hile everything would be pleasant again. But Well I am just really happy =D.

Hmmm while searching the net I found something interesting.
On how to write your name in heiroglyfics..

</img>
If you wanna know the site go here...

http://www.upennmuseum.com/cgi-bin/hieroglyphsreal.cgi/hieroglyphsreal.cgi

~Being Hurt and Being Broken~

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 10:30:55 GMT

I am suppose to post this yesterday but well because i am disconnected i was not been able to do so... but anyways i am still in a sappy mood so I can still do this lol. Anyways lets talk about this one word that everybody knows and even everybody avoid... and this word is LOVE. People fell in love and fell out of love all experienced on being hurt and being crushed. In my case hmm... what can I say? I'm hopeless when it comes to this kind of thing.

Many times have I been a victim with that thing and never in my life escape from it. The first time i've experienced falling in love is like 5 years ago. I liked this particular guy for about 3 years. He has been my bestfriend but well because i got awkward that friendship slowly fades away. Days and weeks have past by and then here comes the news the he has a girlfriend already. He is happy and I am crushed. I didn't like the pair cuz I know that the girl that he was with doesnt deserve this. Knowing this I didnt cry... I just look and watch behind the shadows as usual. 2 years have past and I heard that they have broken up but later that year here comes another girl but this time she is perfect.. she has it all.. good looks & good personality... this time I have to cry.. I have to forget...

A year have past and here comes another guy came into my life. He has been my good friend and he's always there for me. Our friendship took into another step... for the first time in my life i am contented. But... things would not go on forever.. we have broken up.. the guy that I thought the one for me just disappear right away in one snap... The memories are all gone and is meant to be forgotten. I have to move on..

And then this year I have decided not to fell in love again and pour myself into my studies so I can forget. But then again i was wrong... here comes another guy who I never thought that I would get interested with. He has it all.. looks, brains, good attitude, very humble and even a basketball player...but well even if he is perfect he never got a girlfriend idunno why but well he says that "he's not ready yet"... but well I know I would never get a chance. Now he is my classmate and even a close friend. Some of my friends tells me that he also likes me but i would never believe that. Here comes this girl who has the body and looks that is always around him... it seems that there is something going on between them... even though his friend told me that he hates her... i could never believe it... I know lots of signs to make me not to believe it. But well its funny.. why would I go fantazing about this guy who would someday come for me? That fantasy that I know it would never happen. I have been hurt lots of time.. i dont want to experience it again. I dont have a fight with that girl... I dont have the body, i dont have the brains... I am just me.. the boring old me... I have kept on dreaming that someday that my life would turn into a fairytale but it seems that I am not meant to have that kind of thing.
Even though my friends encourage me... i still cant compete.. Im to weak and to boring to compete with all the pretty girls that surrounds him. So like as usual.. I'll be here hide in his shadow and again... I'll try to forget... But I wont cry.. I am over with it.

So to end this... life is just a FUCKING hell.. it turns like a wheel... even if things is over it will come back again.. and it will haunt you down.

Dream of Me

Let me sleep
For when I sleep I dream that you're here
You're mine and all my fears are left behind
I float on air and nightingale sings a gentle lullaby
So let me close my eyes
And sleep a chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch, to kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
so let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams he'll dream of me

And high beneath the clouds
I'd whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away, dream away
A dream away

So let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams he'll dream of me
Oh dream of me

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 02:01:11 GMT

hmmm Im such in a good mood today (and even my stupid bro cant ruin it >.>), A particular person make it all happen ;D anywayz my friends knows it so there hehehehe.. Im in such a good mood that I wanted to sing~~ LALALALALA *BOOM* hehehe..

Until the Day I Day Story of the Year
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

=P *_*

After a long~ month

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 02:45:04 GMT

I know its been a long time that i didnt updated, its just that I've been busy this past few weeks or maybe months. Darn school never get tired of giving of assignments, projects, seatworks and of course the teacher's favorite the VERY easy quizzes (yeah as if >.>). Anyways this past week I didnt have much time for myself because all I ever do is those stupid assignments that never seems to fade. Everytime I do something "unproductive" (in the eyes of my parents) they always thought that I didnt do my assignments and that I am always slacking off. I am sick and tired of being told off even though its not even my fault of doing so.

The fight with the computer with my slob brother is getting worst everyday. He didnt seems so to care if i need to do this research. All he cares is about his fucking yahoo chatmates and keeping the internet from himself (I am lucky enough to update my lj without him irritating me.). WEll being the eldest he of course have the greater advantage about everything. I tried telling this to my parents but.. no~ it is still my fault. Well in our household the number one rule that you must have is to keep quiet and dont comment about anything and hell about it. They kept on blaming others even if they are at fault.

I have many pressures in my life this past few days. My grade in math are getting worst and I dont think my parents would be happy about it. But what can I do? it's my weakness and there's no other way that i can do about it. They always expect me to do the things that they did when they were still in highschool but damn it its not that easy. The past is different from the present. I am not just studying in a public school, I studying in a private fucking school which has a thing of making students suffer with tons of assignments. Anyways that's it for now i'll just update again the moment I escape from my parents and brother's wrath.

weekends~

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 15:16:35 GMT

hmmmm school still coming out great and fortunely i don't have any problems yet. I wish and I hope i can maintain my performance and needed a miracle in order for me to enjoy math @_@;. Anyways I really feel tired after school and idunno why x.x;.. so I I'll just have to make this short.

darn assignments

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 14:50:51 GMT

Well my first day didnt turn out that bad. In fact it really went on fine (well minus the tons of assignments given after >.>). As I went inside our campus, being greeted by my former classmates and my close friends. But there's this one person that I didn't expected to see, My childhood friend. She has been my friend since we were 2 years old. We've been seperated many times and always met in an unusual moment and unusual times ^^;.

Our friendship when we were little isn't really the friendly type. Well when were 3 we usually fight, if I mean fight... real one. Well... I'm usually the one who started the fight and hit her @_@;. I mean.. Im only kid well a brat back then. My mom told me that denise always ran off crying x.x;;;;;... and now I really felt bad about it. I said sorry to her before she left the first time. Well now we just laugh about it... about our fights when we were little ^^;

Denise is the strongest person that I've known.. she has been strong since her parents seperated when she was only 2 years old, even after her mom get married again she still stood her ground and stayed strong. She still stayed as the friendly, talkative and energetic girl I never knew and never let that bad incident get through her. But I'm not like her... I was never strong... I always give up easily...

Anyways.. I saw her again after 2 years, after she went off to another country I was surprised that she's also the classmate of my friend stephy... And that meeting really change my mood (and even my tons of assignment didnt changed it). I introduced her to my friends (Stephy, Rachel, Michey and Riel). I'm really glad that they went off well.

I'm really afraid this school year.. cuz almost all of my subjects are math or math related and that's the thing I was dreading for... I hope I can survive this year and even luckier I hope I could be able to join the top10 but well i need a miracle for that one x.x... anyways Im off to sleep before my dad kills me

school >_

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 22:15:53 GMT

well here comes the day that im dreading for the most.... The first day of classes. Doing my usual ritual everymorning... the frustrating wake up call, breakfast and the other usual stuff. As I wait for my ride to come (and a stinking tuna can vehicle to add)... I look forward to the pavement and started thinking again on what is ahead of me. Many times have I tried to run away my problems but it seems that Im trap in the vicious web of life. I tried to get away again but sadly now it isnt the time...

need... sleep...

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 10:29:08 GMT

wow... i've been awake the whole night and the day before... must be insomia... @_@ well anyways i getting ready for school tomorrow and that's the think that dreading for... well I'll just update longer ones this week or next

waaaaaaaaai~~

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 03:17:20 GMT

At last after a long time i've finished my layout, after thinking that I should let my lazy butt working. Anywayz, tomorrow our classes will resume... it will be the same as the ones before. Boring classes, torturing assignments and projects, lame teachers, failing grades and most of all the disease of cramming and the pressure w/ it.

Everytime my parents mentioned something about school while I'm on vacation makes my mood change immediately.. from having a very good mood into a furious one. But as they mention it as school approaches, little by little I get pressured and being more problematic. They always said that I should be like my siblings and study hard. (Yeah right.. my perfect brother and sister, they never failed them. Always have something to be proud of them.) Well i guess this year would be another disappointment to them. and that one big disappointed to them is I might kicked out of school this year if I dont pass my Math subject this year..
Well I guess I should be more serious now and stop being a lazy git.

Well like my browikins said.. I trust my self more and work hard to gain my goals. Hmm.. Yeah he's right.. but I guess.. no I will make it this year.. I still have my friends w/ me and I still have confidence to myself

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 18:47:52 GMT

gjkgkk